like being in a loop

that's how it has been these last couple of days. totally non-linear. and in a not very entertaining way. in fact, in the worst ways possible; random and intrusive. yes, a loop. not a link. a link has two different ends. this one that i am in, and the ones that keep intruding, seem to belong to a viciously closed curve, whose initial and final points, god forbid, but i know they do, coincide in a fixed point. i do not know which threatens more, getting to that point where everything coincides, or being subject to the dizzying shifts within the curve.

a character in a martha grimes novella who likes to watch people get on and off trains says that memory, by nature, is painful. i know it was written in a less trite manner, and probably in relation to movements through time and space. but i also know that things are bad when only the trite phrase stands out against a pagefull of beautiful lines.

so then, there are things that just have to be done to make things better. distractions are welcomed. instant celebrations of friends who won the palanca are held in the small apartment. about three foreign language films are viewed per day with the husband. cheesy folk songs are sung with friends, on the veranda, at four in the morning, while the storm prepares to rage at us. every word on writing tarantino says during his short talk is relished (because it is refreshing to hear somebody so unabashedly declare himself a serious writer, no matter if his writing is not taken seriously). and, whenever possible, the most elaborate, time-consuming meals are prepared, never mind if they're consumed within only a tenth of the length of time it took to prepare them. these things just have to be done.