jeep lag

these days i always find myself waking up before day break. i would make muni-muni for about thirty minutes, before getting on my feet at exactly six am, with coffee at hand by six-thirty, and then out of the door by six forty-five. since the semester started, i have never been late for my classes. except for that one time, at miriam, when all of a sudden i could not find, actually couldn't remember, what room my first class was in. i actually arrived at the campus ten minutes before the bell rang, but finally found, or rather remembered, my room assignment twelve minutes after the bell. so i had to go up and down, and round and round the building for a total of 22 minutes! jeezuz. i thought such episodes would never return. that was a good warning for me though. every day thence meant that i need to make a special effort to be alert. i would hate for people to judge me based on my forgetfulness, as i do have many other flaws. but the effort at alertness takes its toll on me pala. everyday, when i arrive home, husband weng would always ask me how "it" (the struggle to be awake, alert, alive, enthusiastic) went, and i would always be happy to report that "it" all went well. but, just after narrating to husband weng, and to derek, how the day went, and how amazing i was, being so all together, and not feeling a single tinge of sleepiness, not at all spacing out even for a minute, i would then pass out. no, black out, really, like a light bulb being switched off. almost every day i am dead to the world from two in the afternoon until around six in the evening. ang weird. it's like i have no more control over my body, over sleep. sleeping, for me, used to be the most expendable of all the required human activities. and now, this. husband weng and derek have an explanation, and a new term for it: jeep lag. since i started working, i made a resolve kasi to limit my taxi rides. and so my body still hasn't gotten used to the daily commuting grind, even if my overactive mind would like to believe that i am so out there, so together, so part of the moving horde, or herd, crossing edsa, in a jeepney.

my body has yet to get itself unused to lying down, or leaning back, feet up on the desk, at whatever time of the day it wants. meanwhile, i am at the grip of this strange, new, urban affliction of the lazy and the spoiled. i simply have to submit to its powers, i can't know where those four hours of my every day life goes, when i black out. ito na nga, jeep lag , at its worst.