hay buhay

was feeling out of sorts all day yesterday. this business of missing people, missing oneself, missing a turn, is not always fun. i wanted to shake it off soon as i found the strength to get up from bed. i thought of doing the laundry, but husband weng had emptied out our hampers pala before he left for amherst. then i thought of making breakfast, but mayet beat me to it. then i thought of wringing the necks of the roosters strutting back and forth in our backyard, but God said no, they don't make good tinola or fried chicken anyway. so i just forced myself to come up with a list of things to do, things that would take me out of the house. first on my list was to drop by the scout lozano office to visit jet and ruby, but it was crunch time at the office, and i didn't want to be in the way, so i decided to move to the next item on my list.

i normally take a taxi to get around, but thought it a bit sad sitting behind the driver's seat by myself, looking out to the streets that were surprisingly empty too, at around two pm. i decided to take a UP-Pantranco jeep. i found it a bit reassuring to be seated with strangers who knew were they were going, what they were supposed to accomplish for the day, and it made me feel like i truly belonged to this group that had a purpose-jeepney-driven life.

but by four pm, i ran out of errands to run and reasons to run away, so i found myself walking from the intersection of roces and morato, to our street. when i got to the corner, near libreria, the nice old attendant recognized me and waved to me. and that was just the kind of warm welcome i was waiting for all day, so i took my favorite seat facing the smoggy street, and cried like a fool. one minute lang naman. by the time my coffee was served, i was good. but by the time my coffee was done, my reputation in the coffee shop was also probably already done for.

then joel texted, tribu at 830. so i went out to drink with the bayaws joel, easy, mikael, and waps last night, something i have not done in a long time. and i’m glad i went out last night, i’m glad i drank beer, just what i needed, for my own self-preservation. happy na ako when i got home. and just before i drifted off to sleep, i texted husband weng what i thought was a real sweet, loving goodnight message. when i opened my phone’s outbox this morning, ayayay i could not make sense of the text message i sent him. hehe. sorry, husband weng.

haaay... another day to waste.