"tutang ina!"
puede, di ba? malutong. sarap ulit-ulitin. tutang ina! naisip ko lang ito kanina while husband weng and i were making tambay sa gutter, in front of 7-11, watching dressed-up dashing debutantes sashay by on their way to the sports bar beside the store. kami naman naka-pambahay at tsinelas, nagyoyosi habang umiinom ng c2. wala lang. actually, meron. marami. plenty plenty. and i don't even know why i'm blogging in tag/lish, which is not my language. i guess when i blog i have certain people in mind as my kausaps. kausaps. puede rin! ah pakenshet. di talaga ako marunong. i think i'm going mad. haven't had real sleep for more than a week now. haven't had a real drink, too! pero i really need to sleep. tulog ko puro installments, tigatatlo o dalwang oras lang. i traverse all three realms, real-imaginary-symbolic, in hourly cycles everyday. my limbs quiver like jello. my eyes burn like ulings. ulings. hehe. kakatawa. kakaloka. i'm going home to tacloban in a few hours. excitement and dread, excitement and dread. oh, these tragicomic family emergencies. serious naman yung issue, pero funny talaga mga tao. or, at least, i haven't lost my sense of humor and resistance yet. pero, tutang ina! sobrang bad timing talaga. i just want this year to be over. everything's so uncertain, in a pretty scary way. di ko tuloy maintindihan minsan why i even bother with my thesis which no one but my assigned readers will read. won't cure my mother's illness. won't improve my sister's condition. won't even improve my condition. ay ambot. tutang ina si gma!
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3 comments:
ok yun, tutang ina. text me when you get back. we all seem to be going through some weird uncertainty phase. something in the air that will pass i hope.
yeah. i hope things turn out fine. email me about it if you want.
thanks, carl and joel. i'll just drink with you guys about it. so very very tired. hopefully matatapos na work ko dito sa bahay as mediator, counsellor and overall jokestress. mwah, to you both.
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